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Kelly Brook promotes veteran hottie calendar


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Kelly Brook has been turning heads for a longgggg time.  I say that from the perspective that she's a year younger than me and I'm basically a grandpa trapped in a much younger mans body.  She put together a shoot for her calendar recently and I happen to have stumbled across the pics, gallery below.

Nina Agdal bares all


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If there is an almighty universal entity responsible for the assembly of DNA in such a fashion as to great beatiful people... "Thank you for Nina Agdal".

I mean rape, cancer and genocide you're an asshole for - but Nina is 100% a win for the planet earth.

This is a classic photo shoot that brings tears to my eyes at just how freaking gorgeous Nina is, so I thought I'd share it with you all.

NSFW gallery below.

Miley Cyrus goes commando


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No Miley Cyrus is not wearing facial warpaint and army fatigues. Specifically this is about what she's not wearing, which is underwear.  Personally I can't cope with going commando, the Australian sun and testicles require boxer briefs that breathe, but if I had lady parts I imagine I'd ditch panties all the time.

Might not if I was famous though...
Totally would if I wanted to get/stay famous though...
Because, y'know, papparazzi.

NSFW pics below.

Jessica Cediel is the best thing out of columbia since coffee


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I know nothing about Jessica other than I have a whole new interest in Columbia.  She's big over there, which clearly means that columbians have eyes in their head in good working order.



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Stella Maxwell does bikini's right


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Stella's big on Instagram for reasons that should be obvious from the pics above.  Short short version, girl hot, is a model - enjoy the pics.




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Sophia Bush would like you to know she has cleavage


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Sophia Bush may be the only good thing to come out of One Tree Hill, though if she's doing anything recently, I don't know about it.  Regardless she wins cleavage dresses this week and therefore returns to greatness via Celeb-bait.



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Daniela Lopez Osorio makes me smile funny


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I'm incredibly grateful that I didn't meet Daniela Lopez in highschool cause I have a hunch that I'd be carrying all her books and generally making stupid excuses just to stand in her presence.  One of the video's where she smiles (video at main site) made me pause and just go... 'Wow, that smile is amazing' and then forget to keep typing.

God, I'd pay money for that power.  Imagine being able to influence people with nothing but a smile...
I digress.  Video's and link to the gallery below.



Kat Torres likes lingerie and bottled water


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138 Water strikes again this time with Brazilian Kat Torres.  I'm not sure where this company is finding people now to walk around with their bottled water?  I mean, I don't entirely care, they keep providing me with models to write about - but still... we started with playboy models and now are importing people from Sweden and Brazil just because they look good in lingerie...

Wait, what am I saying?  Er... do whatever you like 138.



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Taylor Godfrey is a work of art


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I had no idea who Taylor was until this shoot but she's definitly on my radar now. I have to say I'm so impressed by this shoot, the colors, the lighting, the stylisation - everything pops. I hope to see a lot more of her in the future.
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Ela Rose and bottled water


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I haven't gone looking for it, but I'm putting money on the fact that somewhere a legion of conservative-feminists are loooooosssing their shit about 138 Water.

If you've followed this blog for a while you'll have seen that the lovely Swede, Ela Rose, is only the latest in a string of incredibly hot ladies not wearing very much while holding a bottle of their water. All I know for sure is that I know the name of Evian, cause they were the first bottled water I ever had, and 138 Water - so from a marketing strategy point of view, their promotion is working.

I could insert a spiel here about the fact that power is first and foremost about choice and a woman choosing to take off her clothes is empowered through her sexuality and demonising that sexuality empowers no one and instead disempowers both the person that takes their clothes off and the person who views them.  I could add to that, that conservatives would possibly be better served if they read a little about lipstick-feminism instead of promoting their own views on puritanical morality under the guise of gender equality... buuuut that's probably too many words for this segment of this blog.

NSFW gallery of Ela Rose below:

Happy Birthday Sarah Hyland


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Sarah turned 24 recently, so happy-birthday girl.

Sarah Hyland is one of those women who has a loyal legion of fans thanks to her popularity on Modern Family. I always find the comments section of anything she's on to be hilarious because there is almost always an arguement between people saying how hot she is or that you can't be attracted to her because they think she looks fifteen.  

I think everyone under the age of 35 looks the same age so I'm not much use in this arguement.  In my head you're either my age - older - or an inch off being an egg and sperm, so I try to treat everyone like people instead of a number. But meh, wtf do I know?



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Michelle Lewin is ridiculous


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Michelle Lewin's ass is an onion, because when you see it you want to cry (Thank you, thank you - my old-man dad jokes will be here all week). Seriously, that booty is ridiculous.  Can you even imagine the amount of squats that she must do?  I have a feeling that if Michelle Lewin kicked me I'd snap like a rice cracker (insert white racial jokes here). 

Anyway, as per usual here she is strolling around in a bikini.



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Xenia Deli loves lingerie



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If you don't know who Xenia is there'a  good chance you don't follow supermodel's as she floats around in the same sphere's as Bar Rafaeli, Nina Agdal and Candice Swanepoel.  I find her shoots to be a bit it and miss, sometimes she amazing and sometimes a bit flat.  Regardless, she's gorgeous - pics below of a lingerie and swimsuit modelling shoot.

Miss Teen World Amy Jackson does bikini's


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I'd like to claim some sort of knowledge of Amy Jackson, but the truth is she appeared in a bikini on one of the many blogs I follow and I basically went 'god-dayum' and figured other people who saw her in a bikini may say the same.  So... pics.

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Selena Gomez AMA Amazing


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Selena Gomez has come a long way.  If you listened to her speak about 2 years ago it was little like being grazed in the nads, it didn’t hurt straight away but eventually you’d double over and be all ‘geezus halp meh - make eet stahp!’
Now however she’s level headed, down to earth, confident - it’s like watching a butterly come out of it’s cocoon except instead of being soft and butterfly-like it’s more like a bald eagle with eye lasers and a bitching singing voice.
Don’t ask me how my brain works, even I most days am lost in a mental maze.
Anyway she appeared at the AMA’s in 3 outfits (seriously, who takes 3 outfits?) and looks amazing in all of them.

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2014 - Victoria's Secret casting






















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Ever wonder what it takes to become a Victoria's Secret model?  I assume it's witchcraft or voodoo magic personally because there is no way that someone could naturally look like those women unless they were pushed out of the lady parts of someone that had been blessed by sorcery or maybe an almighty universal sovereign.

Apparently however you just need great DNA and then some attitude.  But why take my word for it, check out this quick video of giraffe-tall women walking like their future's depend on it:

Nick Jonas is dating Miss Universe, meet Olivia Culpo


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Nick Jonas used to be the captain of the purity promise team which generally involves not putting your penis into people because jesus frowns on good times.

But now he's dating Miss Universe (gallery below) which is it's own kind of special miracle and as a result Nick's chasity pledge has joined the Dodo as a flightless extinct creature.  Nick had this completely unsurprising input on the situation:

Katy Perry, pretty in pink

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Katy Perry is that nerdy christian girl gone rogue, which pretty accurately describes me too (minus the lady parts) so clearly I love the bejiggles out of her.
I could insert something here related to the fact that she’s talented, smart, funny and a series of other adjectives which if you’ve followed her career are already obvious - but it’s really hard to see any of those things in a picture… so I’ll settle for “mah gawd, epic bossoms.”



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Bella Thorne would be a less-than-horrible boss


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Bella Thorne is pretty popular at the moment and recently stepped out at the Horrible Bosses premier and snaps of her in Red Band Society also filtered out onto the internet over the weekend.  I personally love the lady-ginger's but I'm kind of meh about Bella most days.  Regardless she's damn popular with the younger demographic so who am I to argue, pics here.


Luci Ford Luscious


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Luci Ford is big on Instagram and that’s all I know about her.  I’m sure there’s more, like, the fact that she share’s the name with a famous creator of cars - but I don’t know any of it and finding out would require more caffiene in my system that I currently have available, so… look at the pics via the Tumblr link below and just shhhhh.

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Rose McGowan Flaunts it



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There was a period of time that Rose McGowan made me swoon - which was largely due to my religious attachment ot the TV show Charmed.  Well it's been a long time since then but she's still around doing things, one of them is this pictorial in Flaunt magazine.

NSFW gallery below.

Pirelli's hottest supermodel calendar


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Pirelli has put together a calendar of the hottest people in fashion at this point in time.  As you can imagine it's very NSFW but does show off some of the beautiful people this earth has to offer including Candice Huffine, Sasha Luss, Raquel Zimmerman, Natalia Vodianova, Adriana Lima, Camero Russell, Anna Ewers, Joan Smalls, Carolyn Murphy, Gigi Hadid, Isabeli Fontana, and Karen Elson.  Full calendar below.

Candice Swanepoel is an Angel



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I suspect Candice Swanepoel has first world problems that none of the rest of us have to deal with like "all my underwear is missing and but all the maid's and bell boys in my hotel seem unusually pleased with themselves."

Sorry, don't ask me how my mind works - I'm sleep deprived and the coffee won't work anymore.
On a side note, here are some of the the behind the scenes at Candice's latest Victoria's Secret shoot.


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Bella Thorne bikini beautiful


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So yesterday was a big Bella Thorne day with pics of her going up of her in this bikini as well as out on the town in a stunning one piece black dress.  If you want to see the the dress pics head over to the Tumblr site. Links and gallery below.

Nicki Minaj gets complex


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Nicki Minaj let complex magazine do some behind the scenes photography for one of her music videos. In a show of complete lack of journalistic integrity I am throwing up these pics with zero understanding of any other part of the backstory.

Because journalistic integrity is for people without a headcold while their baby loses their biscuits next to them.

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Colleen Shannon pimping 138 water


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The wrath of god (Qld flooding) kept my from putting up articles yesterday so here's some catch up stuff.  I'd put more words here, but I'm short on time and a picture is worth a thousand words so think of a few thousand different ways to say "Oh my god, bossoms" and we'll both be happy about how this piece went.


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Amber Heard get’s down with the Russians


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So this is Amber heard for GQ Russia.  I’d like to say more but I have nothing meaningful to say - it’s like 40c in my house in Australia and most of my will to live has melted into the keyboard, so insert the sound of hold music here and enjoy the pics.

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Selena Gomez Flaunts her nips


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So the internet went a little spastic this morning because 1) Selena was in Flaunt magazine’s photo shoot 2) she showed some nip… yeah, you heard me, the glorioius lady blossoms of Selena are out there if you’ve taken the time to sloooooowwww doooooonnnn the camera freeze frames of the video of the shoot.

I mean who would bother to do that? AMIRIGHT?

Freezeframes with nip shots below.  On the other hand if you're after artistic integrity, the acual Flaunt photoshoot can be found on our Tumblr.

Claudia Romani should give snorkling lessons


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Claudia Romani I'm pretty sure is just famous for being hot and nothing else, aaaaaand I'm totally fine with that.  Here she is snorkling and making a fairly compelling arguement as to why we should all work to attain a higher state of being... by being re-incarnated as her bathing suit.

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Emily Ratajkowski could make a grown man cry


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Good lord.  I'd put words here but... just look at her?  If Emily told you to jump off a bridge, you'd ask for directions to the closest one.  Yeesh.  
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If I had Michelle Lewin's ass I'd spend all day walking backwards


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Michelle Lewin confuses my penis.  On one hand her body, and particularly her ass, is amazingggggg.  If I had her ass I'd spend all day pantless walking backwards towards people...

"Excuse me sir... but you have no pant-  OH MY GOD LOOK AT THAT ASS IT'S AMAZING!"

On the other hand however she may have the most fake boobs I have seen, like a soccer ball was cut in half and pasted to her chest...

I'm gonna say this gently cause I'll sound like an asshole no matter what I say on the topic, if you're going to get implants, go up one size - no more.  Otherwise you look unnatural and wierd.

Now excuse me while I get my penis extension. *screams at the surgeon "I said down to the knee's goddamnit!"
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Heidi Klum gets Sharper than ever


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Heidi Klum is in a new ad campaign for The Sharper Image.  SF Gate had this to say:

Heidi Klum has bared all again to promote a new rubber duck radio.
The German supermodel agreed to peel off as part a new ad for gadget store The Sharper Image.
Sitting cross-legged, covering her breasts with her left knee and right arm, the Project Runway host muses about what she likes to play with in the bath, suggesting the floating duck radio is a “gift right” purchase this Christmas.
In other related Sharper Image ads, the 41-year-old face of the company’s 2014 holiday campaign wears jeans with no shirt and nothing but panties and a black leather jacket for a camera ad, under the caption, ‘How does Heidi Klum capture the action?’
Other ads include the provocative questions ‘What makes Heidi Klum turn down the lights?’ and ‘What does Heidi Klum like in bed?’
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The hot celeb round up


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This is a collection of some of the hottest lady-celeb pics that were released last week on instagram, twitter and other social media. Pics below:

Charlotte McKinney Flaunts what her mama gave her


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Charlotte McKinney is big on instagram and with obvious reasons.  She's been the face of Guess and recently did this Flaunt magazine shoot. Galleries and links below.

Please return Nina Agdal's nipples


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If you’ve followed any of my Nina articles you know I think she is the single most physically attractive person on the planet - dayum - dat smile… Makes me all school-boy inside.

Kim’s Ass vs The internet


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Well that title should surprise no one and obviously the outcome of Kim’s Ass vs the internet is that Kim’s ass wins, cause realistically, who’s against big luscious buns.  I don’t even like Kim Kardashian but my ability to be a normal rational human being leaves the building in the face of superior booty.

What can I say?  I’m only human.

I would have reported on this yesterday, but I honestly thought the picture had been faked because, well, just look at that thing - it’s gotta be photoshopped… right?

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I'd watch the news for Veronica Pliego


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Veronica Pliego is a latin news presenter, I'd love to tell you more about her but I can't read Spanish. Suffice to say, she makes the news look good... and is like, probably really good with teleprompters and stuff.

I'm going to stop speaking. Pics below.

Doutzen Kroes gets Angelic


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These are some behind the scenes shots for Doutzen Kroes Harper’s Bazaar for the Victoria’s Secret fashion show.

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